Saturday, May 1, 2010

Last Line Blogfest

Thank you to Lilah Pierce for hosting the Last Line Blogfest!

To my nonblogging readers, I'll put up a regular blog post on Monday, May 3rd. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this tiny sneak peak in to my upcoming bestselling novel!

To my fellow bloggers and Blogfest participants, welcome and have fun. I'm looking forward to reading your last lines and to your comments/critiques of mine. Thanks!

This last line entry is an excerpt from my current work in progress, a chick lit novel. Call me paranoid or superstitious, or just downright silly, but I am not yet ready to give away the story line or the title. Now that that's out of the way, here are the last two paragraphs of the first chapter:

Sammy wiggled her pink-tipped toes in the grass before slipping tiny feet in to the leather thongs she’d tossed down. Letting herself out the back gate, she marched to the front door, seething.

Damn. It was locked. She’d suspected as much. Maneuvering around the needle-sharp agave, Sammy reached for the fake rock where an extra key was hidden. Even J.C. didn’t know about this one. It wasn’t the first time he’d locked her out. But she bet it would be the last.

Love y'all! Rebel


sarahjayne smythe said...

Nice little snippet. Makes me wonder what's happened to set this up and what's coming next.

Unknown said...

You really made me think about your characters - seen and only heard about. The needle sharp agave is a plant, right?

bryan sabol said...

I like the description, but I was thrown by the first paragraph's description: "wiggled her pink-tipped toes in the grass" made me think the mc is in a relaxed mood, but then we get to "seething". Is there a way to modify that description to start out with tension that matches the rest?

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Bryan has a point. Perhaps "dug her toes roughly into the dirt beneath the soft grass."

Just a thought. Wiggle to me does seem relaxed.

But you made me root for a girl with spunk. And I really liked that last line. Roland

* said...

As kids growing up, we used to keep our house key in a fake rock. I smiled to see that in your BlogFest entry.

I have a little poetry contest going over at my blog. Stop by for a waffle & some words when you get the chance.

Eric W. Trant said...

I personally liked the sudden change in mood.

Violent and unpredictable and inexplicable, often furious mood swings... isn't that the PERFECT description of a dadgum woman! Flowers in one hand, a bloody claw hammer in the other.



I liked your hanger.

- Eric

Anonymous said...

I thought that was a great ending, and I would definitely like to know more! Thanks for participating!

A.T. Post said...

What a shame, Rebel. Some folks just aren't from SoCal, are they? We've known what agaves were since we first tripped and fell on one.

Nice snippet. Motions seconded, it gets the suspense up, the curiosity going and the inner reader smiling in anticipation and satisfaction.

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

sarahjayne, thanks for stopping by and for the kind words!

bryan and Roland, welcome to my neck of the woods. Good point, I'll revisit the toe wiggling and thanks for the tip. Roland, I'm so glad to know you're in Sammy's corner, she needs lotsa love.

Terresa, your smile made me smile, thank you for peeking in. I'll definitely be by your place for a little poetry and waffle party, thank you for the invite.

Eric, awwww, shucks. You nailed us. And reminded me that Sammy is a bundle of nerves and full of contradictions, thanks! You're the reason I'm in the Blogfest in the first place, so thank you for that, too. BTW, you made me giggle. AND I'm still grinning!

Lilah, thank you, you shall, you shall. I appreciate you poking your head in and thank you for hosting this Bloggest!

Postman, howdy pardner! My first encounter with the fine agave was in a bottle. Ain't tequila made from the agave plant??? That stuff'll maim you if you're not careful. I've had more than one tangle with the liquid stuff and have steered respectfully clear of it in plant form. Thank you for your kind assessment!

Hey, since you were privy to the paragraphs leading up to Sammy wiggling her pink-tipped toes in the grass, what's your take on that?

A.T. Post said...

Excellent build-up, fine suspense-building, leaves the reader with a sense of anticipation and already an endearment to the MC.

Well done, in other words. That's what I say to that.

Yep, tequila's made from agave. Only some agaves are more equal than others.

Olivia J. Herrell, writing as O.J. Barré said...

Woohoo, have a Cuervo shooter on me! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

That Rebel, Olivia Herrell

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